If you have ever heard the same story told by two different
people, you know that different perspectives can completely change the outlook
on a situation. For example…
The exact same sequence of events seen from different points of
view can make you come to different conclusions.
This is something I have been thinking about when it comes to
having a relationship with God. Do we
decide to follow God? Doesn’t God pursue
us? Love us first before we even know
it? But even still, it is still my
choice to follow God, right?
There is a familiar chorus that says, “I have decided to follow
Jesus, no turning back, no turning back.”
I feel that many Christians would say that they made a decision to
follow Jesus, that after careful thought and consideration, or after a certain
clarifying moment in their lives, they decided to commit their lives to God. And from their perspective, that is how it
feels – I was not following God, and then for various reasons, I decided to
follow Him. Though God is obviously a
part of this decision, it really puts the responsibility and direction of our
relationship with God in our hands.
But from the perspective of looking back on my life, when I take
in the sequence of events that I have gone through, it becomes much clearer how
active God has been in my life, how He has lead me and guided me with His
loving kindness. He has pursued me with
gentleness and love. He has been patient
through my half-hearted growth and He has been faithful despite my erratic
devotion. He has not changed, but has
consistently drawn me closer to Himself, wooing me and showing me the depth of
His love. And for my part, I stumble and
stammer, sometimes walking with Him, and other times losing my footing.
Realizing all of this, the idea of “I have decided…” does not seem
to be appropriate. If “decided” is the
right word, then I have had to make that decision over and over again. Yet somehow, I know that I have a
relationship with God that is not lost despite my ups and downs.
I am starting to think a much more appropriate term for the beginning
and continuing of my relationship with God is Surrender. This is still an action on my part, but with
much more recognition of God’s hand working in me. I have surrendered my life to Jesus. And as I continue to walk imperfectly through
this life, I will continue to surrender different aspects of my heart to Him as
He leads me, as He molds me and shapes me.
I have surrendered my desire to be the one making decisions but instead
desire to have Jesus as Lord and Master.
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